shorts: the new, the old

1. alright, cmon, it's 2005 already

by now there should be at least one astronaut's
(no pun) firsthand
account of zero g
masturbation
readily available

we've had over 3 decades
where are my theoretical tax dollars going anyway?

2. how to own 2004

hindsight is
20/20
so i guess this is a day
maybe nineteel
late

but if I was a zombie pirate robot
and
lived off the blue line
i wouldnt've had my fly zipped for more than an hour at a time

hand
over
fist

get a jump on the competition
prepare your viking costume for 05
don't let the stencil, photoshop kids get to it first