a new candidate for the worst dream ever
I always thought that the worst dream anyone could ever have was the one where they just went to work, had an uneventful day, woke up and had to do the whole damn thing over ago. Then, about a year ago, I had a new, even more pathetic dream pop up to remind me just how mundane and routine life gets sometime. In that dream, I logged onto myspace and started denying friend requests and flagging spam. Just like the work dream, I had to wake up and do it all over again.
The other day, I had a dream top that. Sarah got up to go to work and in a semi-coherent morning haze I kissed her, said good bye, and fell back asleep. What wonders were waiting for me in this new dream world that I was entering, a place that is governed by neither time or space, nor the conventional laws of physics, where the possibilities are limitless and literally anything can happen?
In my dream I woke up, on our bed, pulled her laptop onto my chest, and searched her computer for porn to jerk off to...and didn't find any.
That shit is inexcusable.
Dream-Me put way to much thought into his search when, if our dream apartment is anything like our real apartment, I could have just gone into the other room and gotten my laptop and where I knew there would be porn, or gone onto the internet where I could easily have found porn, and worse yet, my brain could have given me anything, the goth girl in the vintage dresses who works across the street at the sex shop, grade school girls I've recently reconnected to through Facebook, Thora Birch, an nude army of Thora Birches and Diablo Codies, a world of tits and pussy the likes of which I would never experience in the waking world, and you know what my brain channeled all of it's unbridled creative energy into?
Thumbnails. A search page full of thumbnails for non-pornographic .mpeg files that do not even exist in the real world. Boo.
The other day, I had a dream top that. Sarah got up to go to work and in a semi-coherent morning haze I kissed her, said good bye, and fell back asleep. What wonders were waiting for me in this new dream world that I was entering, a place that is governed by neither time or space, nor the conventional laws of physics, where the possibilities are limitless and literally anything can happen?
In my dream I woke up, on our bed, pulled her laptop onto my chest, and searched her computer for porn to jerk off to...and didn't find any.
That shit is inexcusable.
Dream-Me put way to much thought into his search when, if our dream apartment is anything like our real apartment, I could have just gone into the other room and gotten my laptop and where I knew there would be porn, or gone onto the internet where I could easily have found porn, and worse yet, my brain could have given me anything, the goth girl in the vintage dresses who works across the street at the sex shop, grade school girls I've recently reconnected to through Facebook, Thora Birch, an nude army of Thora Birches and Diablo Codies, a world of tits and pussy the likes of which I would never experience in the waking world, and you know what my brain channeled all of it's unbridled creative energy into?
Thumbnails. A search page full of thumbnails for non-pornographic .mpeg files that do not even exist in the real world. Boo.
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