numerology

people say i move a lot
i have lived with more people than I've fucked

Roger's park
columbia town house
1982-1986
shayna
sherry
michael
jews
blood relatives
respective guilt and limitation
i
could not
shut up
sherwin home
1987-2000, summer 2001, summer 2004
depression
medication
occupational therapy
making out in the basement and on the roof
two cats,
rabbit
ferret
goldfish
a half dozen frogs i gave my name when i was 8

south loop
plymouth court dorms rm. 506
2000-2001
lon
john
chris
insincere filmmaker
stone roses n' dido dubliner
OCD douchebag
depression
abstinence
unrequited love
poetry
and
other people's couches

Wicker Park
Evergreen and Evergreen
2001-2002
nell
claire
cicely
the only yearlong lease i've ever completed
old friend,
fuzzy memories of IM hounds
sex
parties
drug
'experimentation'
nomad couch oaf
four more cats
need to get away
from Chicago and Erin
every
-thing
-one
i love
is suffocating

logan square
atrill, 2002-2003
shahbaz
cheryl
curran even more desperate than me on the couch
i can touch the ceiling but i can't leave the couch
new school
paves ways
new chances
subterranean truth or dare with Wizards
death threats vomit & mexican baked goods
four more cats
and another fat bitch who needs to watch American Idol
et tu brute
and i'm gone
pussy whipped
i give up digging
old terrain

Andersonville
Farragut
The Place
2003
it has a name
and it moves
flops and vice lords
deaf dealers and juggalo beasts
ken
jason
jackie
jessie
rachel
franklin
ramon on the floor
duo on the couch
until it's pissed away
then sosa's bed
when she moves in with me
first live in lady
fat smelly curran in the catpiss bed full of buffalo bones
runnin up bills and bitching
alcoholism
petty theft
insomnia
Triple Cs
concerted efforts towards bulimia
yield little
room painted with guns
15 pigs up the back way
k holes pissing off the roof
naked and sloppy fat at every party
everyday guests
getting fed by the church
Dragons demanding payment
blood om the walls
statuesque headless freakouts
DEA, roaches
and
it's time to quit pot
especially
mexican shit
from drugdealers
with ape's names
though Coco had his uses
everything else can stay
broken lease
broken friendship
people are dying around me
only one needs an ambulance

Edgewater
Berwyn Bordello
2003-2004
kenjason again
above us
cowboybeccachrisramondevon
below us
adamjhonbradleyjanet
Dante
my beloved crustacean
sicker than ui've ever been
and i'm not fat anymore
crazy bitches drawn
caffeine pills and firewater
black eyes and shit on the floor
blood in breanna's truck
I NEED TO GRADUATE
it's time to be discarded
again
(but at least i'm getting laid)

now
Ukranian Village
Rice and Rockwell
the Elks Lounge
2004 til they get the idea
kyletanianate
two more cats
ruddiggeripkus
millielatrobe
frogandspider
two floors
a projector
more flora
than i've ever seen
occasional bouts of jubilance and productivity
my life is a cartoon
but

it turns out i'm actually just the wacky neighbor
now
gent and junkman
all outta radio waves
and
completely smitten

(completely rambling)

still a failure
though a teacher

the last of my prescriptions is almost sold off and

hopefully
this time
it'll last

--approximates--
counting on hands
i have lived with 29 people
accepted eight names assigned by eight groups

fucked nine
eight schools
fourgrammaronehightwohigheronehebrew
seven neighborhood
one city
ten cats
seven medications
six specialists
fifteen people i've dearly loved
were institutionalized
some voluntarily
(i was spared
)
?

five pairs of boots four
bands
all fake
four improv troupes four
writing collectives three
radio shows
one
open mic
one
gallery show
and i've never written a goddamn zine

out of
twentytwo years
i've spent five in a relationship

maybe one day i'll know what all of this means