for the love of pete, even if you hate the player, don't hate the game

So I was just listening to the Spanish hip hop and reggaeton station (93.5, apparently) and I heard a song featuring recent Oscar-winners Three 6 Mafia where they were imploring me to "shake it like a rattlesnake", which seemed a bit more of a stretch than certain other metaphors I've been invited to shake (i.e. a polaroid picture, a salt shaker, etc.)

As many of you know, I've always wanted to be a rap superstar, but I busted my flow eight years ago in a tragic rollerblading incident. After much soul searching, I've decided that I'm willing to settle for a carreer as a ghost writer for rap superstars. As such, I've decided to compile a list of shakey things.

BEHOLD!

Things That Shake or Are Shaken
maracas
dice
bottled juice
diet shakes
subterranean California faultlines
happy dog's tails
Lotto balls
Spirograph
googly eyes
the very cold
aerosol cans
jackhammers
James Bond's martinis
rattles
roll, as in shake, rattle and
epileptics, grand mal
epileptics, petit mal

I really like that last one, check this out:
"Shake it like a petit mal, come on and swallow that tongue"

Things That Do Not Shake in and of Themselves, but Bend, Twist, Fold or are otherwise Stretched Out (i.e. "that Laffy Taffy")
bendy straws
a paycheck
the time we have on this planet
waistbands
Plasticman
joins, ball-and-socket
joints, hinge
space age polymers
chewed gum
joy buzzers
Chubby Checker
Twister, the Milton Bradley foreplay game
Twister, the Bill Paxton/chick from"Mad About You" weather-adventure film
folding chairs
fresh laundry

that one works as well:
"Fold it like fresh laundry bitch, I wanna Snuggle"

please forward this to any and all famous rappers you may know. thank you.