an honest democratic convention

the whole shabang: under 2 minutes

let's have at least 4 years of significantly-less-evil business-as-usual.

John's a war hero and lil John's adorable, they're both millionaires who listen to classic rock format radio and they understand the existence of black people

then like 3 days of clapping because neither of the john's are george w bush (or dick cheney)

during which time 407 leftists, anarchists, peacepunks, puppeteers & vegans are arrested
(along with two posterworthy grandfathers and one suited yuppie who was just passing through trying to get a decent goddamn cup of coffee and will now vote libertarian just to "show the bastards"
22 are accidentally teargassed
the rest hit up cbgbomfug, hop on greyhound, or thumb their way home
about 90 get lost somewhere in rural america
of those 90, about 2 dozen get sodomized
6 in trucker bars, 4 in trucker trucks
2 in trucker hats (that are so totally over)
7 in forests
3 in basements
and the remaining 2 are miscellaneously fucked up the ass
approximately half enjoy it
one really would have but the guy didn't know what the fuck he was doing and should've used a water soluble lubricant instead of just massage oil which breaks down the latex in condoms and he didn't even use e-goddamn-nough and it hurt like fuckin hell
3 others are never seen from again

george w loses the election but opts to stay president
neither the supreme court, the democratic party nor the American voters object
say goodbye Syria
word