anecdote

i am not a morning person
in the morning i am capable of maybe three things
one is making out
if i am so lucky as to have the option presented to me
and the second i'm not so sure about
(though mentioning it
I'm sure
makes me a more well-rounded person)

so me and _____
are waiting for the Red Line train

being far too adorable
for a guy with a half-foot mohawk
and a girl with piercings you can't see
unless you're a REALLY good friend
or have superpowers

and there's a curious
older man waiting with us
at the Jarvis stop
wearing clothes that seem to be
a retro throwback
to the older men of his childhood
in the 30s

a maroon mushroom cap
glasses so thick they
could stop hollow-points

and we're doing our
asshole
eternal youth
snarky thing

taunting him
in between
flicks of tongue

and he's doing his
disapproving
older gentlemen
right-of-way
thing

judging us
(i assume)
from his furrowed brow

she gets off
and the whole world
is a little bit darker
and this old man's spectacles
are focusing his glare on me
and as he gets off the train he walks towards me
and hands me a folded piece of paper

i wait til he heads off
and read it:

Please be adviced that you are not Jewish because you act like Goy!! You are not allowed to have hebrew tattoo on neck!

(the tattoo is the name of my grandfather who brought us to this country)

the punchline is that this note was scribbled on the back of a form trying to collect money for the Religious Zionists of Chicago

the moral is...
do not feel guilt

the person you're judging
is doing the same goddamn thing back
or not paying attention

and everything is right in the world
as the laws of irony
remain
cruelly enforced