the darndest fucking things

kids say the darndest fucking things:

Kid: Does uncle Zappa ever smile?
Mom: Well, I'm sure he has. He has to have smiled ONCE, dear.
Kid: Maybe he doesn't smile because he doesn't get any respect.
Mom: [pause]
Kid: Like he used to be young and handsome and very nice, but he didn't have any money and no one gave him any respect so he doesn't smile anymore

cabbies say the darndest fucking things:

Cabbie: Where to, Mac
Me: Augusta and Cicero
Cabbie: Why the fuck would you wanna go there?
Me: [Pause]
Cabbie: Bowels of the fucking Earth down there. Motherfuckers don't even have DNA down there that you can test once they fuckin do something!

goths say the darndest things

Goth 1 with a million fucking curleycues drawn around her eyes:
" ...and then he nailed her upside down to this big woolden cross"
Goth 2 who attacked her fucking backpack with glitter glue band insignias:
"Wow, that's really hot."

noise fans say the darndest fucking things

Noiseguy 1: Man, that video ["RVs and You"] they were playin behind Satan3000 tripped me out, man. I've got a real problem with winnebagos!
Noiseguy 2: The video before that had a woman being raped with her legs sawed off. You've got a problem with winnebagos?