when we were goths

-for Dinah-

we met with skinned knees and by the time we got together we'd scabbed over
so many times
we were reptiles

Darling, do you remember
when we worshipped dog butchers and men who sipped cyanide at dinner parties? Red and yellow, the colors of circus tents and waterbugs
we curled phonelines around our knuckles
talked til dawn of the end of the earth
Oh we could dream
like no others
was it you with sand
or me with fire?
perhaps the two of us together under the sheets
alchemists trying to wrinkle time
so your mother would never come home

we were orphans to the best of our abilities
trying to decipher German as we chased the moon back into the ocean
you gagged on soot
vomiting pills
and I pressed you for more
face like a dog's
you offered so many times to do it for me
scars wrapped in flannel, enveloped in what television told you to be, you were everything I needed to save

Everything was death to match our demeanor
we laughed with dead men
read the words of dead men
hymned with long haired women the songs of dead men
resurrected
we dance like no one we'd ever seen dance
back when all we'd seen were weddings and music videos
death matched our demeanor
heavy metal was jazz enough
and to the rest of the world our name was a door slammed