if I was French, or Thin, I could call it art
Or "Momchill is the best person in the world to have with you when you're on drugs"
Lyingg in the bathtub, staring up at the beads rolling down the tile, tugging at my flaccid dick.
If I was French, and thin, I could call it art, and beautiful young college students would sit in the corner with their arms folded over the seat of the toilet and their gaze fixed, trying to figure me out, hardly able to bear the moments of time that we'e not having sex once it's been made obvious that we would.
But I'm not thin, I am not French, and there are no co-eds waiting to towel me off.
It's just me
alone
after another party witrh a head full of acid
Betty: I'm gonna go home and kick all them naked bitches out of my bed and I'm going to sleep
Momchill: Well you kick a naked bitch for me too, alright
Momchill brought catharsis tonight
because he doesn't act the way everyone else acts,
at least not all the time
I'm just happy he wasn't trying to get laid tonuight and was available for [bigger] conversation
Life's all so random, such a weird series of impulses that sends you off against each other...so it all just comes down to the moment.
It's not the deepest shit ever
but he said it at just the right time for me to enjoy a particular moment where we were sitting at a table in the basement of a bar in Lakeview on a Saturday night, and I was able to watch a shadow of a friend playing a trumpet cast particularly large across a wall in the back, but I could also see that the man playing the horn was my friend Rupert, impeccably dressed, and I watched it all from behind a perfect rose that may or may not have been real.
and we had that second- at least I did- where U was able to enjoy the rose as a beautiful thing that was as likely to have grown out of the ground as it was to have been factory produced. and i got to enjoy those seconds as I reached for it to smell it to see if it had a scent and found it synthetic to the touch and completely odorless
Momchill said he was able to continue regarding it as a beautiful thing. but to me it was a bit tarnished and even the act of picking it up and putting it back put it in a position where the light didn't hit it as perfectly
and I got to have this discussion, and feel neither pretentious nor stupid while everyone else in the room was performing, or dealing with each others ego damage, or booty grinding, shockingly, to noise cabaret
I always expect to have this acid trip that I can plan out to be as crazy and adventurous and intense as the one before it, or the one I'm reading about, when really I take acid, like Momchill, on its own terms. The terms are that things will be different. Not better, or worse, or mindblowingly intense, just different.
It's nice
-especially after having to figure out my own ego dillemma
wondering if I had anyone who was there for just me, as a performer or as a friend, as opposed to anyone else in the room-
to realize that an acid trip is easily doable with my life as it is right now
to have a suit that I had never seen before and no one else could remember, unworn, untailored with price tags still on, almost in my size appear
was fantastic kismet
to have a recently bought unlimited fare card to get me home or anywhere else in the city, and enogh money in my bank account to walk to 7-11 and get a diet coke and a pack of gum and not think about it, (and enough where even though I would think about it, maybe to regret, I could get a cab if I really needed to get away)
that was me doing something right on my end
but the rest
Autumn and Davin helping me take a little extra time to pin up my pants, not just so that they looked good, but so that no matter how out of my head I got, I never had to fuss with them, or worry about not looking good or finding myself underdressed (if out of place or boring, for various settings I found myself in)
to have Jesse and Tyree pitch in money for Rupert who was paying for Betty to pay for my ride up with my equipent to help them put on a show
and for Sarah to let me have this night, even though she wasn't feeling great emotionally, before she even knew I was high
for this type of treatment
if I didn't have friends, then I must be really, really talented
and if I'm not talented, then they all must really, really be my friends
and that was kind of awesome to know
Lyingg in the bathtub, staring up at the beads rolling down the tile, tugging at my flaccid dick.
If I was French, and thin, I could call it art, and beautiful young college students would sit in the corner with their arms folded over the seat of the toilet and their gaze fixed, trying to figure me out, hardly able to bear the moments of time that we'e not having sex once it's been made obvious that we would.
But I'm not thin, I am not French, and there are no co-eds waiting to towel me off.
It's just me
alone
after another party witrh a head full of acid
Betty: I'm gonna go home and kick all them naked bitches out of my bed and I'm going to sleep
Momchill: Well you kick a naked bitch for me too, alright
Momchill brought catharsis tonight
because he doesn't act the way everyone else acts,
at least not all the time
I'm just happy he wasn't trying to get laid tonuight and was available for [bigger] conversation
Life's all so random, such a weird series of impulses that sends you off against each other...so it all just comes down to the moment.
It's not the deepest shit ever
but he said it at just the right time for me to enjoy a particular moment where we were sitting at a table in the basement of a bar in Lakeview on a Saturday night, and I was able to watch a shadow of a friend playing a trumpet cast particularly large across a wall in the back, but I could also see that the man playing the horn was my friend Rupert, impeccably dressed, and I watched it all from behind a perfect rose that may or may not have been real.
and we had that second- at least I did- where U was able to enjoy the rose as a beautiful thing that was as likely to have grown out of the ground as it was to have been factory produced. and i got to enjoy those seconds as I reached for it to smell it to see if it had a scent and found it synthetic to the touch and completely odorless
Momchill said he was able to continue regarding it as a beautiful thing. but to me it was a bit tarnished and even the act of picking it up and putting it back put it in a position where the light didn't hit it as perfectly
and I got to have this discussion, and feel neither pretentious nor stupid while everyone else in the room was performing, or dealing with each others ego damage, or booty grinding, shockingly, to noise cabaret
I always expect to have this acid trip that I can plan out to be as crazy and adventurous and intense as the one before it, or the one I'm reading about, when really I take acid, like Momchill, on its own terms. The terms are that things will be different. Not better, or worse, or mindblowingly intense, just different.
It's nice
-especially after having to figure out my own ego dillemma
wondering if I had anyone who was there for just me, as a performer or as a friend, as opposed to anyone else in the room-
to realize that an acid trip is easily doable with my life as it is right now
to have a suit that I had never seen before and no one else could remember, unworn, untailored with price tags still on, almost in my size appear
was fantastic kismet
to have a recently bought unlimited fare card to get me home or anywhere else in the city, and enogh money in my bank account to walk to 7-11 and get a diet coke and a pack of gum and not think about it, (and enough where even though I would think about it, maybe to regret, I could get a cab if I really needed to get away)
that was me doing something right on my end
but the rest
Autumn and Davin helping me take a little extra time to pin up my pants, not just so that they looked good, but so that no matter how out of my head I got, I never had to fuss with them, or worry about not looking good or finding myself underdressed (if out of place or boring, for various settings I found myself in)
to have Jesse and Tyree pitch in money for Rupert who was paying for Betty to pay for my ride up with my equipent to help them put on a show
and for Sarah to let me have this night, even though she wasn't feeling great emotionally, before she even knew I was high
for this type of treatment
if I didn't have friends, then I must be really, really talented
and if I'm not talented, then they all must really, really be my friends
and that was kind of awesome to know
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