my worst blog yet (and by definition blogs are shit). boring shit like setlists and surveys
According to Myspace (ugh), I have blogged 201 times over the last fourteen months. I have used this forum to work out just about every piece of fiction and poetry I've made in that time, not to mention skits, essays, thoughts, and little offensive one liners. Thank you to those of you that take the time to read it or have in the past. That some of you have read all the way through and given comments when I've needed them. I invite your further comments and criticism.
Anyway, I've decided to let myself go for number 202. I'm doing a radio show now, Monday nights (Tuesday mornings from 2 - 6 AM) on WLUW and just this week I had the best show in memory. The following is just the setlist from that night and a wacky online survey that got passed to me when I was bored. I want to keep them for myself but you can stop reading now.
[WARMING UP]
tom jones w portishead - motherless child
mr. quark - requiem for mr. quark
defacto - coaxial
[ALL AROUND THE WORLD HEAVY FUNK SET]
cidhino & doca - cidade de deus (from Rio Baile Funk: Favela Booty Beats) [BRAZIL]
konono no. 1 - libula mibunda [CONGO/ANGOLA]
red hot chili peppers - hollywood [HOLLYWOOD]
amon tobin - rosie [ENGLAND]
[A TRIBUTE TO RANDY "BISCUIT" TURNER, R.I.P., ALL BIG BOYS SET]
big boys - apolitical
big boys -hollywood swingers (Kool & the Gang cover)
big boys prison
i am kloot - coincidence
flamin groovies - blues from phyllis
deerhoof - our angel's lulu
[HOT FEMALE VOCALS SET]
patsy cline - three cigarettes in an ashtray
ladytron - evil
astrud gilberto - tristeza
[TECHNO SET]
mr. scruff - chicken in a box [BREAKBEAT]
pendulum - fasten your seatbeltd [DRUMNBASS]
eels - jelly dancers (from Dimension Mix: the Music of Bruce Haack and Esther Nelson)
the gris gris - necessary seperation
my life with the thrill kill kult - martini built for two
[TIGHT HORN SECTION SET]
youngblood brass band - brooklyn
drums and tuba - igor rosse
tom waits - step right up
[MORE FUNKINESS]
dwight trible & the life force trio - waves of infinite harmony
medeski martin & wood - i wanna ride you
dele sosimi - turbulent times (from ASAP: Afrobeat Sudan Aid Project)
[THE PLAY IT FUCKING LOUD SET]
nick cave & the bad seeds - get ready for love
sepultera - policia
riistetyt - elintilla
[THE ALL AMERICAN WEIRDNESS SET]
ween - freedom of 76
frank zappa - magdalena
13th floor elevators - you're gonna miss me
[BEST SET OF THE NIGHT]
public image limited - rise
prefuse 73/the books - pagina siete
john prine w iris dement - lets invite them over
[CHICAGO PUNK SET]
mushuganas - breaking tradition (from Achtung! Chicago Drei)
effigies - body bag
choke jackers - zombies make perfect lovers (from Hyde Five)
rasputina - stumpside
eric burdon animals - paint it black
m.i.a/diplo - china girl
gabby lala - elf
[ROCKNROLL SET]
ram jam - black betty
bloody hollies - dirty water
mission of burma - that's when i reach for my revolver
(I got pissed at myself instantly for playing "...revolver". It's a great fucking song but just like the Dead Boy's "Sonic Reducer" and Fugazi's "Waiting Room", after meeting up with people at Delilah's for two weeks, I just can't stand it anymore. The bands have other fucking songs, people)
hoppy kamiyama - fantasm b (from Japanese Independent Music)
manu chao - desperacidos
john zorn leviathan
tub ring habitat
lullaby of the leaves
colonel claypool's bucket of bernie brains - elephant giant
---
a survey about something worthless
1. Have you ever been drunk?
are you daft?
2. How old were you the first time you got drunk?
13 years old. it was either King Cobra in the alleys around Whitney Young HS or Glenfidditch from Joanna Bowersmith's mom's liquor cabinet
3. Have you ever gotten/given digits while intoxicated?
if by digits you mean fingers, then yes, things have gone in places where maybe they shouldn't have. if by digits you mean telephone numbers, then this is a boring question
4. Have you ever 'drunk dialed'?
yes, to expound the truth to those who didn't ask for it and endear companionship from those who didn't offer.
5. Have you ever been drunk in front of family members?
yes. it's damn near impossible to get drunk around my parents though, like i try and try but my brain won't switch over to 'no, it's okay that you do this now mode'
6. Have you ever had to cover up the fact that you were drunk?
in high school, and then again in college
7. Have you ever been arrested for any alcohol related crime?
there's a diference between detained, questioned, and arrested right? generally, if I'm drinking, I'm an asshole to cops. for some reason they respect that in Chicago.
8. Have you ever hooked-up with someone while drunk?
Hi, Sarah
9. Ever forgot their name?
No, that was her
10. When was the last time you were drunk?
I can't even fuckin remember, it takes too much these days. I think it was the time I drank a whole sixpack of Sparks a month ago with Tania and Erik and kept inventing dance moves ("Everybody do the 'Sand Crab'"!)
11. Have you ever been on a drunken binge?
back when Charles and Dan would throw weeklong parties, the tenure of my 6 month lease at the flophouse in Andersonvile
12. Do you need alcohol to have a good time?
No, but if I'm really looking to get the shit kicked out of me it's a good starting point
13. What kind of alcohol gets you the most intoxicated?
that one shot of Jager when I've been drinking other stuff all night does bad things to me
14. Favorite liquor:
whiskey
15. Favorite beer:
Delirium is overrated but it has pink elephants on the bottle which no one can deny
Honeybrown is my favorite keg beer because it's as cheap as Budweiser but doesn't taste like beaver piss.
16. Have you ever woken up after a night of drinking and found out that you are STILL drunk?
YES but for a better story, I would replace drunk with HIGH. One time I got to Dan Lieber's parents' house really late during a party and everyone was all trashed on the couch watching Fantasia synched up with Aenima (it will blow your mind, sucka) and holds out this disgusting green tub:
"Eric, we made ganja butter but we there's no bread to make toast with"
Me: "There's no popcorn?"
Charles: [slaps his head really slowly]
so I melt the thing over a bag of popcorn and eat it all by myself. I go to sleep normal and wake up higher than I've eer been in my life
17. Have you ever swam drunk?
alas, only once this summer. it used to be more often but the lake gave me ear cooties the last time I gave it a try
18. What kind of a drunk are you?
I used to be naked guy drunk, now I'm some sardonic bastard who dances a lot and talks about how much he misses his friends that he doesn't see.
19. Is alcohol like "truth serum" to you?
Fuck you. Truth is beauty, etc. Alcohol is not
20. Favorite drinking partner:
Ramon. We always have really good luck when we're drinking together, and he's a fucking blast. Ken because he repeats himself over and over again.
21. Favorite bar:
Cal's. Cheap bands, used to have cheap beer. Big glaring hole-in-the-wall in the middle of the financial district
22. Have you ever completely blacked out?
remember the time I jumped off that building? Remember that time I took a shit on the floor? remember that time I kicked Keoki's laptop shut and tred to smash Nell's toy mutant? I don't.
23. Have you ever puked from drinking?
I'm a Vomit Ninja. Most people don't know that I used to puke a lot when I drank. I'm very good at getting to a drain and not splattering.
24. Have you ever had the 'crying drunks'?
I have so many scars from that summer when drinking just got me depressed as shit
25. Can you still do physical activity while intoxicated?
Swimming, remember? "Hook-ups", remember? Get your head straight, jerk.
26. Have you ever gotten into a drunken fight?
I've had a puny emo dude suckerpunch me and stomp my ass bloody once after I egged him on for two hours and got to the point where I could barely walk. and I played that game with Kyle, Nate and Autumn where we punched each other in the forehead back and forth until someone gave up. Tom Yates used to want to wrestle a bunch too when he got drunk and I'd usually end up nearly passing out in a choke hold cuz I was too proud to tap out
27. Who is the most annoying drunk that you know?
Jason Santillan, but in a good way. He's very intense in the "I love you, everyone", or "what the fuck, i'm gonna punch thingsand talk like there's a demon in my head now." He's also very reminiscent of the Good Ol Days, even when they're happening right now. This girl Sosa used to go screaming batshit and get into drama whenever she got drunk. I like Sober Sarah more than Drunk Sarah and I like how my friend Aaron talks about stabbing people a lot when he's drunk.
28. Who is the most flirtatious drunk?
I've seen Cowboy cockblock himself, he gets so forward
29. Do you have a drunken nickname?
I'm motherfucking Lab Rat, isn't that fucking enough?
30. Have you received a 'booty call'?
Indeed. Thanks.
31. Funniest drunken scene in a movie:
Mac and Me. All of it. And Michael Jackson's Moonwalker. I don't think there's so much as a single beer in either one of them but they're the funniest shit you'll ever see. I don't think I've ever watched them sober
32. Favorite song(s) about drinking:
"Are You Drinkin With Me, Jesus?" by Mojo Nixon
33. Have you ever woke up next to someone you didn't know?
In a Biblical sense, yes.
34. Have you ever been hit on by someone way older than you?
Tania's Mom. Former teachers. Leather boys and drag queens.
35. What's the worst 'buzz kill'?
When Tania got mugged and I had to run out and help her talk to the poilice that ended my party pretty quickly. Playing nice and holding an exgirlfriend's hair back while she pukes in your toilet will make your balls shrink and make you hate the world.
36. Have you ever dated a bartender or bouncer or cocktail waitress?
yes, I've yet to reap a single benefit. Outside of the sex. Which doesn't count. Cuz it's not like it's bartender-sex. Y'know, like gymnast-sex or psychopath-sex, it's just sex. Right?
37. Do you ever say to yourself, "Dang, I need a drink"?
"i'd never say dang." Pretty Pete said this. I concur.
38. Do strangers ever buy you drinks?
When I had a mohawk it happened all the time, it was like a fuckin key to the city. Now it's just leather boys and drag queens
39. Have you ever drank too much on a date?
i've ended relationships that way
40. Is there anything that you refuse to drink?
all budwiser products. refuse is a harsh term though. more like 'strongly object to purchasing or consuming'.
41. Have you ever been drunk on a plane?
not for lack of trying
42. Have you ever gotten drunk during the day?
ah summer. ah high school. ah parties that stretch weekends. how i love you so
43. Have you ever had to run from the cops and leave the beer behind?
fuck no. I either bolt with it or they pry it from my cold, sad hands.
44. What's your favorite drinking game?
I like playing improv games when I'm drunk because I'm a theatre dork. Also drawing games lie "Destructo" or "Pictionary". "Kings" and "Truth or Dare" have been nice to me, though
45. Have you ever injured yourself while drunk?
Frequently. Less so than Pinky or Devon, but I've woken up with my fair share of scars, bruises and bones bent backwards
46. What's the most destructive thing that has happened while you were drunk?
I kicked through a skylight when I jumped off that roof on mushrooms and wine (shortly after I kicked my friend Liz in the face). I kicked the sideview mirror off a BMW wearing nothing but a pair of combat boots once. Me and Kyle smashed musical instruments over each other's heads one night.
Johnny Hap had a 'smash this house' party when he was evicted and his place was slated for demolishing, but it was allowed then.
Sometimes, I've been rather CONstructive, too godammit, building elaborate Rube Goldberg wheight-and-pulley devices and art. That has to count for something.
47. Ever been drunk at a concert?
only once at a Classical Music type of thing
48. Is this survey getting too long?
49. Are you ready for the last question?
Har.
50. Why do you drink?
It's fun, even though it's nothing more than a poison. It brings out the parts of me that I enjoy, when I'm in control of it.The outgoing, bolsterous parts. Also, I go to a lot of parties and shows. When I'm in a drunken atmosphere, I like to flow with it. I can't smoke pot anymore because I just don't enjoy it, and I can never find acid, which I think is a truly beautiful, enlightening drug. I've had many, many wonderful times drinking and grew to know most of the people I love with it. My parents have thought I have a problem and hinted at it for years now. I used to, in fact. When I was taking Diet Pills, I completely lost track of my personal callibration. My tolerance was way off and I didn't know it. I got my ass kicked by a 24 year old emo dork and took a shit on my own floor. The problem was, I never drank to forget. I never drank just to drink. Nonetheless, I was drinking a lot, even though it was always with other drinkers. To this day I'll only drink by myself because I want to taste something I enjoy tasting (Hence, no Budweiser).
The few parts of me that I really enjoy, and appreciate, may have lain dormant and undiscovered if not for alcohol. So I drink.
You're an idiot for reading this.
Anyway, I've decided to let myself go for number 202. I'm doing a radio show now, Monday nights (Tuesday mornings from 2 - 6 AM) on WLUW and just this week I had the best show in memory. The following is just the setlist from that night and a wacky online survey that got passed to me when I was bored. I want to keep them for myself but you can stop reading now.
[WARMING UP]
tom jones w portishead - motherless child
mr. quark - requiem for mr. quark
defacto - coaxial
[ALL AROUND THE WORLD HEAVY FUNK SET]
cidhino & doca - cidade de deus (from Rio Baile Funk: Favela Booty Beats) [BRAZIL]
konono no. 1 - libula mibunda [CONGO/ANGOLA]
red hot chili peppers - hollywood [HOLLYWOOD]
amon tobin - rosie [ENGLAND]
[A TRIBUTE TO RANDY "BISCUIT" TURNER, R.I.P., ALL BIG BOYS SET]
big boys - apolitical
big boys -hollywood swingers (Kool & the Gang cover)
big boys prison
i am kloot - coincidence
flamin groovies - blues from phyllis
deerhoof - our angel's lulu
[HOT FEMALE VOCALS SET]
patsy cline - three cigarettes in an ashtray
ladytron - evil
astrud gilberto - tristeza
[TECHNO SET]
mr. scruff - chicken in a box [BREAKBEAT]
pendulum - fasten your seatbeltd [DRUMNBASS]
eels - jelly dancers (from Dimension Mix: the Music of Bruce Haack and Esther Nelson)
the gris gris - necessary seperation
my life with the thrill kill kult - martini built for two
[TIGHT HORN SECTION SET]
youngblood brass band - brooklyn
drums and tuba - igor rosse
tom waits - step right up
[MORE FUNKINESS]
dwight trible & the life force trio - waves of infinite harmony
medeski martin & wood - i wanna ride you
dele sosimi - turbulent times (from ASAP: Afrobeat Sudan Aid Project)
[THE PLAY IT FUCKING LOUD SET]
nick cave & the bad seeds - get ready for love
sepultera - policia
riistetyt - elintilla
[THE ALL AMERICAN WEIRDNESS SET]
ween - freedom of 76
frank zappa - magdalena
13th floor elevators - you're gonna miss me
[BEST SET OF THE NIGHT]
public image limited - rise
prefuse 73/the books - pagina siete
john prine w iris dement - lets invite them over
[CHICAGO PUNK SET]
mushuganas - breaking tradition (from Achtung! Chicago Drei)
effigies - body bag
choke jackers - zombies make perfect lovers (from Hyde Five)
rasputina - stumpside
eric burdon animals - paint it black
m.i.a/diplo - china girl
gabby lala - elf
[ROCKNROLL SET]
ram jam - black betty
bloody hollies - dirty water
mission of burma - that's when i reach for my revolver
(I got pissed at myself instantly for playing "...revolver". It's a great fucking song but just like the Dead Boy's "Sonic Reducer" and Fugazi's "Waiting Room", after meeting up with people at Delilah's for two weeks, I just can't stand it anymore. The bands have other fucking songs, people)
hoppy kamiyama - fantasm b (from Japanese Independent Music)
manu chao - desperacidos
john zorn leviathan
tub ring habitat
lullaby of the leaves
colonel claypool's bucket of bernie brains - elephant giant
---
a survey about something worthless
1. Have you ever been drunk?
are you daft?
2. How old were you the first time you got drunk?
13 years old. it was either King Cobra in the alleys around Whitney Young HS or Glenfidditch from Joanna Bowersmith's mom's liquor cabinet
3. Have you ever gotten/given digits while intoxicated?
if by digits you mean fingers, then yes, things have gone in places where maybe they shouldn't have. if by digits you mean telephone numbers, then this is a boring question
4. Have you ever 'drunk dialed'?
yes, to expound the truth to those who didn't ask for it and endear companionship from those who didn't offer.
5. Have you ever been drunk in front of family members?
yes. it's damn near impossible to get drunk around my parents though, like i try and try but my brain won't switch over to 'no, it's okay that you do this now mode'
6. Have you ever had to cover up the fact that you were drunk?
in high school, and then again in college
7. Have you ever been arrested for any alcohol related crime?
there's a diference between detained, questioned, and arrested right? generally, if I'm drinking, I'm an asshole to cops. for some reason they respect that in Chicago.
8. Have you ever hooked-up with someone while drunk?
Hi, Sarah
9. Ever forgot their name?
No, that was her
10. When was the last time you were drunk?
I can't even fuckin remember, it takes too much these days. I think it was the time I drank a whole sixpack of Sparks a month ago with Tania and Erik and kept inventing dance moves ("Everybody do the 'Sand Crab'"!)
11. Have you ever been on a drunken binge?
back when Charles and Dan would throw weeklong parties, the tenure of my 6 month lease at the flophouse in Andersonvile
12. Do you need alcohol to have a good time?
No, but if I'm really looking to get the shit kicked out of me it's a good starting point
13. What kind of alcohol gets you the most intoxicated?
that one shot of Jager when I've been drinking other stuff all night does bad things to me
14. Favorite liquor:
whiskey
15. Favorite beer:
Delirium is overrated but it has pink elephants on the bottle which no one can deny
Honeybrown is my favorite keg beer because it's as cheap as Budweiser but doesn't taste like beaver piss.
16. Have you ever woken up after a night of drinking and found out that you are STILL drunk?
YES but for a better story, I would replace drunk with HIGH. One time I got to Dan Lieber's parents' house really late during a party and everyone was all trashed on the couch watching Fantasia synched up with Aenima (it will blow your mind, sucka) and holds out this disgusting green tub:
"Eric, we made ganja butter but we there's no bread to make toast with"
Me: "There's no popcorn?"
Charles: [slaps his head really slowly]
so I melt the thing over a bag of popcorn and eat it all by myself. I go to sleep normal and wake up higher than I've eer been in my life
17. Have you ever swam drunk?
alas, only once this summer. it used to be more often but the lake gave me ear cooties the last time I gave it a try
18. What kind of a drunk are you?
I used to be naked guy drunk, now I'm some sardonic bastard who dances a lot and talks about how much he misses his friends that he doesn't see.
19. Is alcohol like "truth serum" to you?
Fuck you. Truth is beauty, etc. Alcohol is not
20. Favorite drinking partner:
Ramon. We always have really good luck when we're drinking together, and he's a fucking blast. Ken because he repeats himself over and over again.
21. Favorite bar:
Cal's. Cheap bands, used to have cheap beer. Big glaring hole-in-the-wall in the middle of the financial district
22. Have you ever completely blacked out?
remember the time I jumped off that building? Remember that time I took a shit on the floor? remember that time I kicked Keoki's laptop shut and tred to smash Nell's toy mutant? I don't.
23. Have you ever puked from drinking?
I'm a Vomit Ninja. Most people don't know that I used to puke a lot when I drank. I'm very good at getting to a drain and not splattering.
24. Have you ever had the 'crying drunks'?
I have so many scars from that summer when drinking just got me depressed as shit
25. Can you still do physical activity while intoxicated?
Swimming, remember? "Hook-ups", remember? Get your head straight, jerk.
26. Have you ever gotten into a drunken fight?
I've had a puny emo dude suckerpunch me and stomp my ass bloody once after I egged him on for two hours and got to the point where I could barely walk. and I played that game with Kyle, Nate and Autumn where we punched each other in the forehead back and forth until someone gave up. Tom Yates used to want to wrestle a bunch too when he got drunk and I'd usually end up nearly passing out in a choke hold cuz I was too proud to tap out
27. Who is the most annoying drunk that you know?
Jason Santillan, but in a good way. He's very intense in the "I love you, everyone", or "what the fuck, i'm gonna punch thingsand talk like there's a demon in my head now." He's also very reminiscent of the Good Ol Days, even when they're happening right now. This girl Sosa used to go screaming batshit and get into drama whenever she got drunk. I like Sober Sarah more than Drunk Sarah and I like how my friend Aaron talks about stabbing people a lot when he's drunk.
28. Who is the most flirtatious drunk?
I've seen Cowboy cockblock himself, he gets so forward
29. Do you have a drunken nickname?
I'm motherfucking Lab Rat, isn't that fucking enough?
30. Have you received a 'booty call'?
Indeed. Thanks.
31. Funniest drunken scene in a movie:
Mac and Me. All of it. And Michael Jackson's Moonwalker. I don't think there's so much as a single beer in either one of them but they're the funniest shit you'll ever see. I don't think I've ever watched them sober
32. Favorite song(s) about drinking:
"Are You Drinkin With Me, Jesus?" by Mojo Nixon
33. Have you ever woke up next to someone you didn't know?
In a Biblical sense, yes.
34. Have you ever been hit on by someone way older than you?
Tania's Mom. Former teachers. Leather boys and drag queens.
35. What's the worst 'buzz kill'?
When Tania got mugged and I had to run out and help her talk to the poilice that ended my party pretty quickly. Playing nice and holding an exgirlfriend's hair back while she pukes in your toilet will make your balls shrink and make you hate the world.
36. Have you ever dated a bartender or bouncer or cocktail waitress?
yes, I've yet to reap a single benefit. Outside of the sex. Which doesn't count. Cuz it's not like it's bartender-sex. Y'know, like gymnast-sex or psychopath-sex, it's just sex. Right?
37. Do you ever say to yourself, "Dang, I need a drink"?
"i'd never say dang." Pretty Pete said this. I concur.
38. Do strangers ever buy you drinks?
When I had a mohawk it happened all the time, it was like a fuckin key to the city. Now it's just leather boys and drag queens
39. Have you ever drank too much on a date?
i've ended relationships that way
40. Is there anything that you refuse to drink?
all budwiser products. refuse is a harsh term though. more like 'strongly object to purchasing or consuming'.
41. Have you ever been drunk on a plane?
not for lack of trying
42. Have you ever gotten drunk during the day?
ah summer. ah high school. ah parties that stretch weekends. how i love you so
43. Have you ever had to run from the cops and leave the beer behind?
fuck no. I either bolt with it or they pry it from my cold, sad hands.
44. What's your favorite drinking game?
I like playing improv games when I'm drunk because I'm a theatre dork. Also drawing games lie "Destructo" or "Pictionary". "Kings" and "Truth or Dare" have been nice to me, though
45. Have you ever injured yourself while drunk?
Frequently. Less so than Pinky or Devon, but I've woken up with my fair share of scars, bruises and bones bent backwards
46. What's the most destructive thing that has happened while you were drunk?
I kicked through a skylight when I jumped off that roof on mushrooms and wine (shortly after I kicked my friend Liz in the face). I kicked the sideview mirror off a BMW wearing nothing but a pair of combat boots once. Me and Kyle smashed musical instruments over each other's heads one night.
Johnny Hap had a 'smash this house' party when he was evicted and his place was slated for demolishing, but it was allowed then.
Sometimes, I've been rather CONstructive, too godammit, building elaborate Rube Goldberg wheight-and-pulley devices and art. That has to count for something.
47. Ever been drunk at a concert?
only once at a Classical Music type of thing
48. Is this survey getting too long?
49. Are you ready for the last question?
Har.
50. Why do you drink?
It's fun, even though it's nothing more than a poison. It brings out the parts of me that I enjoy, when I'm in control of it.The outgoing, bolsterous parts. Also, I go to a lot of parties and shows. When I'm in a drunken atmosphere, I like to flow with it. I can't smoke pot anymore because I just don't enjoy it, and I can never find acid, which I think is a truly beautiful, enlightening drug. I've had many, many wonderful times drinking and grew to know most of the people I love with it. My parents have thought I have a problem and hinted at it for years now. I used to, in fact. When I was taking Diet Pills, I completely lost track of my personal callibration. My tolerance was way off and I didn't know it. I got my ass kicked by a 24 year old emo dork and took a shit on my own floor. The problem was, I never drank to forget. I never drank just to drink. Nonetheless, I was drinking a lot, even though it was always with other drinkers. To this day I'll only drink by myself because I want to taste something I enjoy tasting (Hence, no Budweiser).
The few parts of me that I really enjoy, and appreciate, may have lain dormant and undiscovered if not for alcohol. So I drink.
You're an idiot for reading this.
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