a morbid blast from the past
I just opened a bag I haven't looked in since 2004.
Contents:
a blood caked razor blade
and a small stack of Dennis Kucinich bumper stickers
it's really the job that's getting to me. not the day job, but the fun one. I feel inadequate, and I don't get to enjoy the one gig that pays me. there's a new boss, a partner who's been away tying up loose ends, who wants to "fix" everything that isn't wrong with the bar. he wants me to play acid jazz when all anyone wants to hear is AC/DC, Peter Bjorn and John, New Order, and Kanye. Who wants to hear acid jazz at some random bar on a Saturday night? Who wants to hear Royal Crown Revue? Who wants to hear Toto? Okay, I guess a lot of people want to hear Toto but I'm still going to hold it against him that he requested two songs by those fuckers (TWO!) before telling me how anybody could play 80s music and get the crowd going, but that that's not what he wanted for his bar. This was on a night when I had to go from Conway Twitty to the Descendants to keep everyone happy. It's not as fucking easy as it looks.
this is the type of guy who wears a big, jangly watch, and when I ask him the time, reaches for a cell phone.
it's not just that though. I'm living with my parents again. they have nice things and I don't want to become accustomed to them. My Mom used to be the one who annoyed me, or who I would piss off, but it's my Dad now and that's weird. We've always had a good repoire and I feel like more of a fuck up for pissing him off than I do for moving back in. He's disappointed. He's giving up on me. I can feel it/
I've got a new job, but I don't trust that I'll be able to keep it. It was so hard getting hired everywhere else and I tried so hard, that I'm worried that these guys will fire me no matter how well I do. I like it, but I haven't had time to write or practice spinning, and I don't know if this is what I should be doing.
I'm 25 and homeless and living better than I have in years. I'm 25 and regressing. I'm 25 and full of doubt. I'm 25 and opening another box.
This one is full of toys
Current Mood: ken burns, ken wong, and ken nordine
Currently Watching: The Brak Show
Contents:
a blood caked razor blade
and a small stack of Dennis Kucinich bumper stickers
it's really the job that's getting to me. not the day job, but the fun one. I feel inadequate, and I don't get to enjoy the one gig that pays me. there's a new boss, a partner who's been away tying up loose ends, who wants to "fix" everything that isn't wrong with the bar. he wants me to play acid jazz when all anyone wants to hear is AC/DC, Peter Bjorn and John, New Order, and Kanye. Who wants to hear acid jazz at some random bar on a Saturday night? Who wants to hear Royal Crown Revue? Who wants to hear Toto? Okay, I guess a lot of people want to hear Toto but I'm still going to hold it against him that he requested two songs by those fuckers (TWO!) before telling me how anybody could play 80s music and get the crowd going, but that that's not what he wanted for his bar. This was on a night when I had to go from Conway Twitty to the Descendants to keep everyone happy. It's not as fucking easy as it looks.
this is the type of guy who wears a big, jangly watch, and when I ask him the time, reaches for a cell phone.
it's not just that though. I'm living with my parents again. they have nice things and I don't want to become accustomed to them. My Mom used to be the one who annoyed me, or who I would piss off, but it's my Dad now and that's weird. We've always had a good repoire and I feel like more of a fuck up for pissing him off than I do for moving back in. He's disappointed. He's giving up on me. I can feel it/
I've got a new job, but I don't trust that I'll be able to keep it. It was so hard getting hired everywhere else and I tried so hard, that I'm worried that these guys will fire me no matter how well I do. I like it, but I haven't had time to write or practice spinning, and I don't know if this is what I should be doing.
I'm 25 and homeless and living better than I have in years. I'm 25 and regressing. I'm 25 and full of doubt. I'm 25 and opening another box.
This one is full of toys
Current Mood: ken burns, ken wong, and ken nordine
Currently Watching: The Brak Show
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