"school dais, pt. 3" or "liberal bias on campus? oh noes!!!"
Conversation at a bar, George’s bar actually, on Wabash and Balbo:
Megan: the answer is Poe
ELR: Poe?
Megan: Yeah, Edgar Allen Poe
ELR: What the fuck kind of photography test has Edgar Allen Poe and Robert Maplthorpe as answers?
Megan: Our teacher’s weird. It also has Paris Hilton.
ELR: Can you call her cumbucket?
Megan: She’s probably like it:
ELR: Can you call Maplethorpe cumbucket?
Megan: She’d probably like that more.
Question:
What day will it be in 10^101 days (that’s 10 to the power of 101)?
Answer:
Monday, of course. Some fucking Monday 273,785 years from now, except of course that there will probably no longer be life in this solar system able to quantify time and delinate arbitrary days from the frantic orbit of a swollen- and-dying sun.
That shit’s easy. That’s is the type of shit I do all day when I’m working as a math tutor.
The rest of the time, I work as a writing tutor, and remember why it is I never wanted to teach writing classes. I had a session with this student, who was working on a Shakespeare paper. It was a really truly awful paper that she failed to see as really truly awful, which made helping her improve it rather difficult. It was awful in the sense that it was entirely too vague, from the rampant use of mysterious pronouns, to making a lot of allegations on the writer, his motives, and the literature itself, while but offering very little by way of evidence. The first part was on that one Shakespeare poem, the "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day..." thing.
ELR: So what's this poem about?
Tutee: It's a sonnet.
ELR: Okay, [I’ll let it slide] what's this sonnet about?
Tutee: It's about these two gay guys...
ELR: Really? Cool.
Tutee: So, it's an older one, talking to a younger one about how beautiful he is, but how, like, time is going to destroy his beauty.
ELR: So, they're in love.
Tutee: Yeah.
ELR: And he's telling the younger one to go away before he gets too old to enjoy life.
Tutee: What? No.
ELR: Then what's he saying?
Tutee: That he loves him. He doesn't care that he's getting older.
ELR: But look, [I point to a quoted line that says, "procreate and thereby perpetuate your beauty", which apparently appears in a different sonnet altogether, but I guess they were reading them as a progression] he's telling the younger guy to go out and procreate and get a family before he’s too old..
Tutee: [indignant] There are...ALTERNATIVE ways to procreate. Like gays couples can adopt, and lesbian couples can use fertilization...
ELR: But not in the 1800's! or 1600's or...1400's [I have no real clue about when Shakespeare wrote]. The Queen would've had his head [I'm picturing the Queen from the movie "Shakespeare in Love"]. Shakespeare couldn’t just go out and have gay characters be gay. Writers had to mask gay subtext back then, and right these protestations of love so that they’re vague. They could be brothers but the could also be friends who love each other dearly, or men who’ve bonded together in battle, etc. from what you’ve shown me it could be a father talking to his son, telling him he’s great, just like his old man, but needs to go out and get married.
Tutee: It’s NOT a father and son.
ELR: How do you know?
Tutee: Because the teacher told us.
ELR: Well your paper doesn’t show it.
Tutee: Well he knows it already.
ELR: He wouldn’t just from reading this.
Tutee: Gawd, I just wanted help with my grammar! Let’s just move on.
ELR: Okay, what’s Part II about.
Tutee: The Merchant of Venice
ELR: What’s that about?
Tutee: There’s this guy… [points to paper]
ELR: Shylock?
Tutee: Yeah, who is gay.
ELR: Who did you say you were reading next?
Tutee: Tennessee Williams. [that’s the punchline]
That’s just annoying. This girl, who has never read Shakespeare before and has never read plays before (I asked), is going to read nothing but plays by gay playwrights and playwrights her professor can convince her is gay. There’s a lot of literature about the homoeroticism (homoromanticism?) of some of Shakespeare’s plays but to force it is ridiculous, especially when the class is supposed to be focus on the literature of great plays and not the gender interplay of famous works by great, gay playwrights. Especially when there are classes about the gender interplay of famous works by great, gay playwrights that she could have enrolled in and he could’ve taught already in place. I don’t know. I graduate next week. I’ve been sick of the bullshit aspects of art school for four years now, out of five or six or however long I’ve been here.
On the other hand, it made me type “shakespeare gay” into google and the first site made my dat:
This question has come up many times over the years. Many people look at Shakespeare and they say to themselves "is he gay?" his tights and strange look in his eyes makes it seem that he must of the gay orientation. his plays are also full of all kinds of gay stuff. Like many times in the plays of shakespeare, one man will act very gay with another man. this is considered normal, but only to someone who is gay, like Shakespeare.
Unfortunately, the poll on the site no longer functions so I’ll never know if Shakespeare is as gay as Nathan Lane, Elton John, Ben Affleck, or Chuck Norris.
Megan: the answer is Poe
ELR: Poe?
Megan: Yeah, Edgar Allen Poe
ELR: What the fuck kind of photography test has Edgar Allen Poe and Robert Maplthorpe as answers?
Megan: Our teacher’s weird. It also has Paris Hilton.
ELR: Can you call her cumbucket?
Megan: She’s probably like it:
ELR: Can you call Maplethorpe cumbucket?
Megan: She’d probably like that more.
Question:
What day will it be in 10^101 days (that’s 10 to the power of 101)?
Answer:
Monday, of course. Some fucking Monday 273,785 years from now, except of course that there will probably no longer be life in this solar system able to quantify time and delinate arbitrary days from the frantic orbit of a swollen- and-dying sun.
That shit’s easy. That’s is the type of shit I do all day when I’m working as a math tutor.
The rest of the time, I work as a writing tutor, and remember why it is I never wanted to teach writing classes. I had a session with this student, who was working on a Shakespeare paper. It was a really truly awful paper that she failed to see as really truly awful, which made helping her improve it rather difficult. It was awful in the sense that it was entirely too vague, from the rampant use of mysterious pronouns, to making a lot of allegations on the writer, his motives, and the literature itself, while but offering very little by way of evidence. The first part was on that one Shakespeare poem, the "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day..." thing.
ELR: So what's this poem about?
Tutee: It's a sonnet.
ELR: Okay, [I’ll let it slide] what's this sonnet about?
Tutee: It's about these two gay guys...
ELR: Really? Cool.
Tutee: So, it's an older one, talking to a younger one about how beautiful he is, but how, like, time is going to destroy his beauty.
ELR: So, they're in love.
Tutee: Yeah.
ELR: And he's telling the younger one to go away before he gets too old to enjoy life.
Tutee: What? No.
ELR: Then what's he saying?
Tutee: That he loves him. He doesn't care that he's getting older.
ELR: But look, [I point to a quoted line that says, "procreate and thereby perpetuate your beauty", which apparently appears in a different sonnet altogether, but I guess they were reading them as a progression] he's telling the younger guy to go out and procreate and get a family before he’s too old..
Tutee: [indignant] There are...ALTERNATIVE ways to procreate. Like gays couples can adopt, and lesbian couples can use fertilization...
ELR: But not in the 1800's! or 1600's or...1400's [I have no real clue about when Shakespeare wrote]. The Queen would've had his head [I'm picturing the Queen from the movie "Shakespeare in Love"]. Shakespeare couldn’t just go out and have gay characters be gay. Writers had to mask gay subtext back then, and right these protestations of love so that they’re vague. They could be brothers but the could also be friends who love each other dearly, or men who’ve bonded together in battle, etc. from what you’ve shown me it could be a father talking to his son, telling him he’s great, just like his old man, but needs to go out and get married.
Tutee: It’s NOT a father and son.
ELR: How do you know?
Tutee: Because the teacher told us.
ELR: Well your paper doesn’t show it.
Tutee: Well he knows it already.
ELR: He wouldn’t just from reading this.
Tutee: Gawd, I just wanted help with my grammar! Let’s just move on.
ELR: Okay, what’s Part II about.
Tutee: The Merchant of Venice
ELR: What’s that about?
Tutee: There’s this guy… [points to paper]
ELR: Shylock?
Tutee: Yeah, who is gay.
ELR: Who did you say you were reading next?
Tutee: Tennessee Williams. [that’s the punchline]
That’s just annoying. This girl, who has never read Shakespeare before and has never read plays before (I asked), is going to read nothing but plays by gay playwrights and playwrights her professor can convince her is gay. There’s a lot of literature about the homoeroticism (homoromanticism?) of some of Shakespeare’s plays but to force it is ridiculous, especially when the class is supposed to be focus on the literature of great plays and not the gender interplay of famous works by great, gay playwrights. Especially when there are classes about the gender interplay of famous works by great, gay playwrights that she could have enrolled in and he could’ve taught already in place. I don’t know. I graduate next week. I’ve been sick of the bullshit aspects of art school for four years now, out of five or six or however long I’ve been here.
On the other hand, it made me type “shakespeare gay” into google and the first site made my dat:
This question has come up many times over the years. Many people look at Shakespeare and they say to themselves "is he gay?" his tights and strange look in his eyes makes it seem that he must of the gay orientation. his plays are also full of all kinds of gay stuff. Like many times in the plays of shakespeare, one man will act very gay with another man. this is considered normal, but only to someone who is gay, like Shakespeare.
Unfortunately, the poll on the site no longer functions so I’ll never know if Shakespeare is as gay as Nathan Lane, Elton John, Ben Affleck, or Chuck Norris.
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